All the new leaves I'm turning over

...now that I'm back home, and autumn is upon us

After over a month on a different land mass, falling in love with Quebec City, I’m back in the UK. Five weeks is, I think, the perfect amount of time to be away from home — enough to get to know the place you’re visiting in a more-than-just-superficial way, and enough of a break from your regular life that you’re genuinely ready to come back. To my delight, my return has coincided with a spate of sudden and beautiful autumnal weather: bright blue skies, crows cawing in the mornings, a few leaves starting to drop. Given the unpredictability of the seasons here these days, I’m fully expecting a heatwave to begin next week that sees us lolling about in parks well into October. But there’s been a definite nip in the air this week, and I’m relishing it.

I’ve never been very big on new year’s resolutions — putting one foot in front of the other and keeping your head above water seem like big enough tasks in January, without attempting to overhaul your life, health, and career into the bargain. But in September! Ah, September. Like many people, I get the urge to begin afresh when the weather turns and the academic year starts up again, as if my whole life is the clean, crisp page of a brand new notebook. I don’t eschew resolutions in September, I collect them. I use them to conjure a vision of a contented and well-organised existence in which all my struggles with overwhelm, procrastination, bad habits, and lack of willpower have been miraculously overcome.

This year, my autumn resolutions are many. I’m going to habitually walk up the stairs in my building instead of taking the lift. I’m going to finally become a cold-water swimmer. I’m going to devise a bespoke yoga routine that specifically targets the places where I need to build strength and reduce tightness. I’m going to attend some kind of contemplative gathering once a week, either a meditation class or a Quaker meeting. I’m going to start journalling regularly. I’m going to visit Epping Forest, the most restorative place I know within easy distance, at least once a fortnight. I’m going to treat boring everyday tasks like hand-washing, tooth-brushing and showering as opportunities to practice mindfulness and enjoy the sense of taking care of myself. I’m going to stop drinking, for a trial period initially, but who knows, maybe forever. I’m going to eat all the fruit I buy before it goes bad, and on that topic, I’m also going to eat — and keep track of — my thirty plants a week.

Speaking of plants, I am going to be a much better plant parent who never forgets to water. I’m going to be a better friend too, who never forgets birthdays, which means I will need to transfer all said birthdays from a notebook (far too easily overlooked) to Google calendar. I’m going to implement beautiful storage and organisation systems in wardrobes, cupboards and drawers (I’m coming for you, spices). I’m going to declutter. I’m going to put my laundry away as soon as it’s dry. I’m going to finally finish painting the hallway. I’m going to learn to love cleaning as much as I love watching satisfying time-lapse videos of people cleaning. I’m going to follow the example of the Cleanstagrammers by rebranding weekend chores as a ‘Sunday reset’, turning them into a form of self-care as opposed to a tedious void into which the finite and precious hours of my life must, of necessity, be sucked.

In amongst all this, if I can find time, I’m also going to start a new freelance career! Easy, right? And of course, I’m also going to be kind to myself, let myself off the hook if I don’t meet my own high standards, and allow things take the time they take. I see no contradiction here whatsoever.

I’m looking right now at a laundry rack with clothes on it that have been dry for at least two days, but I also went for a swim in the unheated lido on Friday and it was *very chilly*, so I’m muddling through. The sense of possibility has not yet been beaten out of me, and I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

Happy turn of the seasons to all who celebrate.

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